Dear Mrs. Hadler,
Please excuse Daniel's abscence yesterday, he was unable to come to school because he was at home sick. I hope you'll be able to forgive him for not being able to attend the test about the human skeleton yesterday, and you might allow him to take a retest. Unfortunately, Daniel still has quite a fever, and it has left him unable to study. Also, please do not touch him or allow the other students in the class to ask him where he has been. Just tell them all that Daniel has been ill. And that's all they need to know.
Additionally, please assure Daniel that his answers are right, despite if they are or not. This will help to let the other students in the class that Daniel is every bit as good as them, and even smarter than Todd Matthews. Also regarding Todd Matthews, please note that I often go to lunch with his mother, and she has a lot to drink.
Please note also that Daniel might need to leave for no apparent reason. Please don't stop him or ask him where he is going. He has business to attend to, so, just let him take care of it, ok? Thank you for excusing Daniel and for taking these precautions with Daniel, and know that if anyone makes him mad, he might somehow be able to spread this sickness to them with his mind. I will also be unable to attend any PTA meetings or open house events for the rest of the year. Or sign report cards, as my hands are broken.
Sincerely,
Cynthia Doris
6/24/08
6/15/08
The Omega Clock
Things have been basically non-stop shitty since they installed the Omega Clock. Sure, everyone wanted it at first, but now it seems like the whole world is second guessing itself. Because there it is, hovering in the night sky, a huge digital reminder of the only time any of us has left.
There are only 2 kinds of people now:
1.) People who still have hope.
2.) People who have none.
The first group is busy. They are working day in and day out to find a way out of this mess. They work tireless and dedicated lives, but they're smart and driven. They can't see what the rest of us see, though, and that's that we're fucked.
There are only 2 kinds of people now:
1.) People who still have hope.
2.) People who have none.
The first group is busy. They are working day in and day out to find a way out of this mess. They work tireless and dedicated lives, but they're smart and driven. They can't see what the rest of us see, though, and that's that we're fucked.
6/11/08
Excitebike
First let me tell you that there is an awesome party going on at my house right now. A Nintendo party! We got a NEW NES at the store in the mall last weekend, and we have been playing it NONSTOP. In case you were wondering, we have all the best games, too. Yep, we're talking Super Mario Brothers, Zelda, and even Excitebike. If you haven't played Excitebike, GET IT! It's pretty much one of the best games out there right now, and we got it. I can hear the whir of the high speed dirt bike motor humming from the other room right now. I kick major ass at that game.
Have you ever played Tetris? Then you are probably a girl.
Right now, my kid brother, Nathan, is trying to rev the motor all the way up. He is going to flip over the handlebars, I just know it. The best thing about Excitebike is that you can make your own stages. Yesterday, I made one with about 18 huge hills right in a row. It was impossible to beat. BECAUSE I DIDN'T PUT A FINISH LINE ON IT! Ha! You can never beat the stage. Awesome.
We are supposed to be doing homework right now, but Brandon came over to study and I wanted to show him the new game. He is getting his ass kicked, even by Nathan. Yesterday after school, we were going to go out and make our bikes into dirt bikes, but we didn't have the right stuff in the garage to do it. Also yesterday, we found a dead cat down on the road. Nathan threw a rock at it, and it just went THUD and some flies flew out of its head. We wanted to bury it, but mom just told us to throw it in the woods instead. I took this rusty shovel and kind of scooped it up and tossed it into the ditch at the end of the road. It was a lot heavier than I thought, though, and it hit the pavement hard and sort of bounced. I kept expecting the smelly old cat to stand up and brush himself off and say heyyyy, what'd ya do that for? and walk off into the woods. But he didn't.
Seeing all those flies and guts come out of him made me think of the zombie movie we saw last weekend. Are there zombie cats? Probably. That's why I have this butterfly knife in my closet. Brandon's cousin Lakey gave it to me. He's sixteen and has killer posters all over his wall. Poison, Kathy Ireland in a bikini, and this great Grim Wreaper blacklight poster that glows and points at you no matter where you stand in the room. Lakey is awesome. I'm growing my hair out to be like his.
Lakey told us a story about the time he fingered a girl in the auditorium after school. He said it felt like she was peeing on him. He said she was going to go down on him, but that they thought they heard someone coming. Brandon says Lakey has porno mags in his room, but he can't find them and Lakey says to not go in his room when he's not there.
Nathan's yelling. That means he's losing. Brandon is kicking his ass. I can beat them both, though.
Another awesome game is Pro Wrestling. We borrowed it from Lakey last week, but we haven't played it that much. My favorite guy is The Amazon. He's this lizard guy and he bites your face if he gets his hands on you. And you do NOT want his hands on you.
I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but it is sooo stupid. We are taking electives this year, though, and I'm in shop. I think I am going to make a sword or an escape ladder.
Have you ever played Tetris? Then you are probably a girl.
Right now, my kid brother, Nathan, is trying to rev the motor all the way up. He is going to flip over the handlebars, I just know it. The best thing about Excitebike is that you can make your own stages. Yesterday, I made one with about 18 huge hills right in a row. It was impossible to beat. BECAUSE I DIDN'T PUT A FINISH LINE ON IT! Ha! You can never beat the stage. Awesome.
We are supposed to be doing homework right now, but Brandon came over to study and I wanted to show him the new game. He is getting his ass kicked, even by Nathan. Yesterday after school, we were going to go out and make our bikes into dirt bikes, but we didn't have the right stuff in the garage to do it. Also yesterday, we found a dead cat down on the road. Nathan threw a rock at it, and it just went THUD and some flies flew out of its head. We wanted to bury it, but mom just told us to throw it in the woods instead. I took this rusty shovel and kind of scooped it up and tossed it into the ditch at the end of the road. It was a lot heavier than I thought, though, and it hit the pavement hard and sort of bounced. I kept expecting the smelly old cat to stand up and brush himself off and say heyyyy, what'd ya do that for? and walk off into the woods. But he didn't.
Seeing all those flies and guts come out of him made me think of the zombie movie we saw last weekend. Are there zombie cats? Probably. That's why I have this butterfly knife in my closet. Brandon's cousin Lakey gave it to me. He's sixteen and has killer posters all over his wall. Poison, Kathy Ireland in a bikini, and this great Grim Wreaper blacklight poster that glows and points at you no matter where you stand in the room. Lakey is awesome. I'm growing my hair out to be like his.
Lakey told us a story about the time he fingered a girl in the auditorium after school. He said it felt like she was peeing on him. He said she was going to go down on him, but that they thought they heard someone coming. Brandon says Lakey has porno mags in his room, but he can't find them and Lakey says to not go in his room when he's not there.
Nathan's yelling. That means he's losing. Brandon is kicking his ass. I can beat them both, though.
Another awesome game is Pro Wrestling. We borrowed it from Lakey last week, but we haven't played it that much. My favorite guy is The Amazon. He's this lizard guy and he bites your face if he gets his hands on you. And you do NOT want his hands on you.
I'm supposed to be doing my homework, but it is sooo stupid. We are taking electives this year, though, and I'm in shop. I think I am going to make a sword or an escape ladder.
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