Dear Sir,
Thank you very much for ruining what may be one of the most important times in my life. When you advertised a Romantic Weekend Getaway, there should have been some qualifications to that claim. A number of factors bring me to this conclusion, including the way you've held up the exterior walls with railroad ties wedged into the earth. How is this even considered sound construction? I plan to have this examined by the appropriate authorities immediately.
When my new wife, Rebecca, and I first arrived at your "bed and breakfast," we thought that there must be some sort of joke here. Well, as it turned out, the joke was truly on us. We immediately checked the pamphlet we had secured from Denny's three months ago which so beautifully advertised your place of business in a decadent light of homey atmosphere. Sir, there is nothing decadent or lovely about this bed and breakfast. Rebecca immediately welled up with tears at the dismal state of things. Luckily, in my positive nature and "make the best of a bad situation" attitude allowed me to trudge on and persevere the weekend. How I wish I had given up.
I'll spare you the details of my most miserable time on this planet, which were spent in what could, in no way, resemble a bed. I believe my pillow was actually stuffed with hay. Do I deserve that? To pay $800 and expect to sleep on lump of horse snacks? Do I deserve having to shower in cold water from rusty pipes? Should I be punished for attempting to celebrate my wife's birthday weekend? I believe the answer is no.
I expect a full reimbursement, or I will be forced to take legal action. I will also have you know that your night clerk "Terry" was terribly rude and unsupportive when I tried to express my concerns with him. He actually "flipped me the bird" when I became terse with him. I hope that he will get the punishment he deserves. They wouldn't let this shit fly in the army, if you'll excuse my French. Please understand that I am VERY SERIOUS when I say that I will take legal action if I don't receive a full reimbursement very soon. Good Day.
Sincerely,
Ronnie Werthers
P.S. The breakfast was also very bad.
